Sunday, July 27, 2014

5 People


 “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

- Jim Rohn

July, 2014 marks the start of my 18th year as an educator. Despite being older, a bit wiser, and somewhat grayer, in some ways, I see myself as being “18 again”.
My focus this summer has been on personal/professional reflection. I’ve been deeply contemplating lessons I’ve learned, as I approach my second decade in education. And I’ve wondered, given the chance to offer som
e advice to my former 18 year-old self, what wisdom could I share? While there's so much I'd want to say, I think I'd begin with five rules. In particular, I'd speak about those I attempt to live by daily, all of which I've learned as a result of the impact made by five influential people in my life.
HAVE INTEGRITY
“It’s nice…to be nice."


This is a pearl of wisdom that I heard my maternal grandfather say repeatedly during my upbringing. “Bumpa” was my original best friend, and we were inseparable. A member of “the Greatest Generation”, he was a Veteran of World War II, was married for nearly 50 years to his bride (my “Granny”), and was a proud father of six children. From as far back as I could remember, I’d sit next to him at the kitchen table and just listen in awe at the simple and honest truths he would share. And while he passed on 18 years ago (during my first year of teaching), if I close my eyes, I can still see his hands and hear his voice. His words about the simple importance of being nice meant something, because he didn’t just say these words, he lived them. And while my 18th year on earth was not always marked with consistent “niceness”, today I make every attempt to keep this idea front and center, with every human interaction that I have.

BE COMPASSIONATE
“It all comes down to hand-holding.”


Dr. Fred Epstein was a world-renowned pediatric neurosurgeon and was someone who became a dear friend to me. He changed my life, and for the better. I was a sickly child, often hospital-bound (but that’s another story for another time) and he was there for me and - even more - for my parents, when he was needed most. And while I am thankful for his dexterity with a scalpel, it was his bedside manner and his ability and willingness to patiently reassure my parents for which I am eternally grateful. See, it wasn’t about how skilled a surgeon he was, but it was his ability to relate, connect, and really listen to people and empathize with their concerns. His steady hands saved lives. His hand-holding warmed hearts.    

BE SELFLESS
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”


Margaret Mead was a 20th Century cultural anthropologist, and someone with strong convictions who was not afraid to defend her beliefs. She traveled the world, in a constant quest to understand groups of people and how individuals interacted with one another, within groups. Her work in Samoa, New Guinea, and throughout the Pacific is a lesson to 18 year-olds and school leaders alike: We must seek first to understand, then to be understood, making no assumptions. If we commit ourselves to a cause, share our passion with others, harness our collective energy, and never quit, individuals as well as groups of people will benefit.

BE APPRECIATIVE
“True happiness comes from the things that cannot be taken away from you.”

John Wooden, who coached UCLA Basketball teams to ten National Championships, embodied countless qualities of a consummate leader. Beyond his status as a coach, however, was the value he placed in being a voracious reader and to his players, he was a teacher before all else, focusing on fundamentals for basketball and for life. While he could have very well let his winning ways feed his ego, Wooden remained humble and focused on his team and each of his players, throughout his years of coaching. Even after retirement and his death, his brilliance has withstood the test of time, and serves to remind us of the importance of being grateful for our circumstances.
HONOR YOUR LEGACY
“Treasure your legacy. Appreciate what’s been given to you. Give as much to someone else.”

This is a quote I shared at our Opening Day Staff Meeting in my first year as a middle school principal in 2010. Vince Lombardi, one of the greatest coaches in any sport led the Green Bay Packers to five Super Bowl Championships. He was a teacher and a coach who believed in the power of motivating and inspiring his players and his teams to excellence. And while he is credited with countless words of wisdom, it was actually his son, Vince Lombardi Jr., (ironically, his legacy) who is credited for saying the above quote. The work we do is about paying it forward, and understanding our impact is not necessarily immediate. But every day, we carve out another path of our impact that will last long after we are gone. It is that which happens after we are gone that is truly a measure of what we’ve set out to accomplish.

These are five people whose words or impact I think about almost daily. They’ve reminded me to never take for granted opportunities afforded to us, but rather, cherish who we are, where we come from, and understand the potential for our impact on others, with our decisions, our words, and our actions.
So, now think about other circles we all travel in: in our personal, professional and even in our digital communities (which seem to fall somewhere in between). I would love to invest my time with the five people who I’ve mentioned above, or at least, share a meal with them to harness and soak up their wisdom, but what about you?

If you had this chance, consider:
·         What advice would you offer to your “former” self?

·         If you could take any five people to dinner who would you take?

·         Who are the five people who you'd like to have make up your “average”?

Thank you for reading and for joining me in my pursuit of Learning Leadership

15 comments:

  1. Dennis, fantastic maiden blog post! This will be the start of my 19th year teaching kindergarten- looking back to my first, it's amazing what a baby I was, and how far I've come. If I could give new-teacher-me advice, I tell her to try not to take resistance so personally, and to accept myself and my vision for my students as "good enough."

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    1. Michaele, thank you for reading and posting your thoughtful feedback. Working with children of all ages teaches us so much. Working with five-year olds has got to be that much more rewarding! It still amazes me that at different times throughout the year, I still don't feel as if I've given "enough" to our students, families, and staff. But I believed this is uneasiness is also the mark of dedicated educators. Kindergarteners never tire in their energies towards learning. Why, then, should we as the adults who teach them?
      Thanks for reading and commenting, Micheale. Happy Summer.
      ~ Dennis

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  2. It never hurts to be reminded of the things that are most important. Even though it's my 31st year, it is always good to start out each day with these pearls of wisdom. Great reflection in your first blog attempt!

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    1. Lisa, thank you for the comment and congratulations on your 31st year in education. What a special milestone that is! I am sure, through the years, you've accumulated (earned) your fair share of wisdom. Be sure to share these with a new or aspiring teacher who needs to hear them!
      Happy Summer,
      ~ Dennis

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  3. Dennis,

    Your post really hit home. When you spoke about your grandfather I walked down memory lane myself. I enjoyed seeing your classic pics and the perfectly placed quotes.

    I will say my 5 are - My grandfather, Abraham Lincoln, Ben Franklin, Jack Nicklaus and Princess Diana. I think the stories told at that dinner table would captivate me for a lifetime!

    I really enjoyed your first post Dennis. I look forward to reading many more in the future. Keep it up!
    -Ben

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    1. Ben, thank you for reading and sharing your reflection on my post. I really appreciate your "five people" and I respect the fact that one is your grandfather as well. The stories our "fives" would tell would create such memories, no doubt about it!

      Ben, thanks for sharing positive feedback. I appreciate your leadership style and written expression as well. Thanks for the encouragement!

      ~ Dennis

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  4. WOW! This is so powerful. Thank you for being willing to put it and yourself out there. I am looking forward to reading more of what you have to offer! Thank you for including me!

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    1. Theresa, thank you for reading and commenting on the post. As leaders, one of our greatest challenges, at times, is to muster the courage to put ourselves in vulnerable situations. I believe this demonstrates the idea of "no risk, no reward". The Principal Podcasts that you lead prove this. (By the way, I've really come to enjoy listening to these on the ride to work, so thanks!)
      Theresa, thanks for sharing your thoughts; I appreciate it. Enjoy your summer!

      ~ Dennis

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  5. This reflective post is one that we can all relate to, Dennis! In education, we get a renewal each year to "do it better than the year before." We continually learn and share wisdom with our youth. What if I could share it with my "former/younger" self? I would tell her not to listen to the critics. I would tell her to not worry so much about fitting in. And I would tell her to share her feelings with those who matter most. And that's just the beginning! :-)

    Today, I think it's important to note that the five people we surround ourselves with may be online in friends, and we need to intentionally connect with those who will lift us up.

    Thanks for sharing this post. I can't wait to read more!

    Jennifer

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    1. Jennifer, thanks so much for reading and sharing your reflections here. The idea of renewal is so important for us to embrace, and also to share with students and staff. I say it all the time to my "kids" at school: every day is a new day and a fresh start.

      This idea you've shared about being intentional in connecting really resonates with me. And by expanding our communities, we have this opportunity to find those people who make us better people and better leaders.

      Thanks for being one of those people for me, Jennifer.

      Happy Summer,

      ~ Dennis

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  6. Dennis, may I congratulate you on a very strong and articulate first blog post under the title Learning Leadership (quite apropos for a former 18 year old self). Your perspective on how to live your daily life as a learner and leader is honest and passionate. Being guided by five rules you have provided a framework for your personal style of leadership that will influence those around you. Congratulations! I am proud to call you my "Twitter buddy" but more importantly a face-to-face colleague interested in impacting teaching and learning.

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    1. Carol, thank you for reading and sharing your reflections here. I really respect your leadership style and passion for making a difference, for students and educators alike!

      Thanks for being someone who I've come to respect and who has an approach that I aspire to emulate.

      Happy Summer, my friend,

      ~ Dennis

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  7. Wonderful first blog, Dennis. Having direction from 5 people you admire or respect helps to keep you grounded.
    Can't wait for your second post!
    Jay

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  8. Jay, thank you for taking the time to read this and share a comment here. Relying on those around us is so important, and made that much better when we have strong resources within our PLN as a supplement to that support. Thank you for your encouragement and for setting a solid example for those around you, myself included.

    ~ Dennis

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  9. Dennis, I am so glad that you have started blogging! Your post was insightful and inspiring and your voice really came through! The part about your grandfather was especially touching as I had the same kind of relationship with my grandfather. I often think about what he might do or say in a given situation and use his example to light the path of my own life. I look forward to your next post.

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